Contrary to popular perception, a
“place” does not always have to be physical. When we're having a
hard time, it is common to make use of the expressions: “I'm in a
bad place right now” or “John is really in a dark place”. Do we
ever stop and think about what it is that we really mean by this?
Each person has inside their mind an enormous world made up of their
imagination. However, this doesn't necessarily mean that this made up
world is any less real than the physical “reality” of this
dimension.
Billy
Mills had the opportunity of traveling a lot during the course of his
life as a young adult. All of these trips are what make up his
external journey, a physical one. First, he traveled 650 miles
outside of his home to go off to college, where he confronted a whole
new world very different from the one that he had grown up in. Once
in school, he took time off to work with his own very personal
concerns, which also made him travel 10 hours home and back as he
oscillated between Billy Mills the runner and college student, and
Billy Mills the small town indian. Aside from this, he also had the
chance to travel the world because of his career, making it all the
way to Tokyo to represent his homeland in the World Olympics.
As
real and active as this passage was, Mills also experienced a very
personal and emotional trip: his internal journey. This one was made
up of all of his thoughts, insecurities, expectations, feelings and
ideas about the world and the life he was choosing for himself.
Billy's internal journey is evident from the very beginning of the
film. As perhaps a stereotypical quality as a native american indian,
he was always a very reflective and meditative young man. This means
that even if he was seemingly quiet or static, his mind made him
travel at uncountable miles per hour inside his own world. All of us
are really like this, some more than others, but Billy was very
conscious about his journey and constantly seemed to be trying to
figure out where he wanted it to take him, who he really wanted to
be.
One
of the clearest examples of this is his constant internal conflict
between the regular college kid and the american indian that he felt
like he used to be. When Mills goes off to college, it almost seems
like he has slowly lost the strong connection with his refugee life,
but he still doesn't seem to quite fit in with the modern world. As a
result, Billy feels lost in his internal journey, as he no longer has
a clear idea of who he is and who he wants to be. This is clearly
visible in the dorm scene where he yells back at another boy saying
“I am not a chief!”. The fact that he gets so angry over his
schoolmate's immature remark is indicative of how much his internal
journey was affecting him emotionally, and how much more in his
internal journey he had yet to go.
All
of the decisions that Billy Mills made guided his internal and
external journey, and made him arrive at the psychological and
physical places that he went to. Both of these traveling experiences
were always interconnected, as some decisions in his physical journey
affected his emotional, mental, or spiritual state, and vice versa.
Every person has in their hands the power to write their own story
through the course of their internal and external journeys. The charm
of it all is that it is sometimes almost impossible to figure out
which one came first, which turns life as we perceive it into a
beautifully blended mixture of endless voyages.
Interesting and well thought out reflection. I especially enjoyed your conclusion.
ReplyDeleteThanks, professor. I'm glad you liked it! :)
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